


Scars

by ugandadistrict9



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Dadsona: Elijah Rae, Drabble, Established Relationship, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mild Angst, Post-Canon, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-09 22:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13490985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ugandadistrict9/pseuds/ugandadistrict9
Summary: Waking up with Robert one morning, Elijah notices something about Robert that he'd never noticed before.





	Scars

**Author's Note:**

> yes hi what oh of course im back on more ddadds bullshit.  
> i wrote this in school like weeks ago tbh and today i reread, edited, and decided it was worth posting.  
> a super short & sweet drabble i did about dadsona finding self-harm scars on robert. i got this idea from a fic i read a while ago??? idk but it was a really interesting headcanon that made sense to me with robert being.. well, knife dad 
> 
> i love these two a lot. also i hate ao3's formatting bye

…

_Good morning_ , the afternoon sun greets me painfully as I open my eyes. Yikes, that is bright. Ew.

I yawn, sitting up to stretch. I look over at Robert, still sleeping soundly beside me. I smile, the same relief washing over me as every other morning I've woken up to find him still in bed beside me.  
  
Sunlight streams in through the blinds, creating stripes of dark and light across him. In the light, Robert's hair and beard look much more grey.

He's laying on his side, with one arm hugged into his chest, the other sprawled out in front of him, wrist up. That’s when I notice something about him that I've never noticed before. At first I think it might be a trick of the light, his features distorted by the stripes of shadow and glowing sun splayed across him, but I endeavour to look closer, drawn to the markings. The sight of them sparks great concern in me, tightening my throat and quickening the pace of my heart.

Careful not to wake him, I lean in to look at Robert’s wrists. The scars are too straight and clean to be accidental. It sends a chill down my spine, and my stomach ties up in knots. The thought is absolutely grotesque, but there really is no other explanation. I feel sick wondering how many times, and with how many different knives, Robert has cut into his own flesh. It hurts. I can't help myself. I reach out and touch. Robert, luckily, doesn't stir.  
  
The marks look old enough, but I'm really not an expert at this kind of thing. I have no idea what to make of it. I run my thumb shakily across the markings. They look like they were once quite deep.  
  
“Oh, Robert…” I whisper. Tears are forming in my eyes.  
  
I feel Robert moving beside me.  
  
“'Lijah?” he slurs.  
  
I'm still just staring. It's a lot to take in. How did I never notice this before? He wears a jacket and a long-sleeve shirt most of the time… but still? I guess they're not super obvious. They must be old. I hope they're old.  
  
Robert’s pulling me into a sleepy hug, and I embrace him back, hugging tightly. “I love you,” I whisper softly, my voice barely wanting to leave my throat.  
  
He murmurs something back under his breath. He doesn't seem to notice my sadness, but then again, Robert doesn't always say what’s on his mind.  
  
I let myself be hugged into his chest, trying to slow down my thoughts, and I listen to the sound of his heartbeat, slow and calm. It's comforting. But scary. Life is so fragile. What if one day it just ... stopped? What if… no...  
  
I can feel how fast my anxious heart is racing compared to the sleepy, slow rhythm of Robert's against my ear. I'm glad that he can't hear it. I hate making Robert upset. He goes through enough already; I can barely stand to be the cause of his troubles.  
  
Robert is still at least half asleep, and we lay there cuddling for a long time. I'm slowly starting to calm down. Robert is okay. I match my breathing with his, and I feel my heart rate go down back to normal after a while.  
  
Robert starts to stir. He rolls around a little bit, dislodging me from his cuddle. When his eyes finally blink open, I'm looking directly at him. I smile, a little embarrassed that he caught me staring. “Hey, g'morning…”  
  
Ever since Amanda went off for school, I've been spending more and more nights at Robert's, and he stays with me sometimes, too. He still seems a little disoriented to wake up to lasting affection every morning.  
  
“Morning,” he replies, sinking back into my biggest pillow, closing his eyes.  
  
I lean over to give him a kiss on the cheek, his beard tickling a little as I do so. It's nice.  
  
He says nothing, but he looks up at me from where he's sunken into the pillow as I draw away. I hold his gaze.  
  
“You wanna get breakfast?” I ask.  
  
Neither of us are the most talented of cooks, and we're both pretty lazy, of course. There's a kind of greasy but still good all-day breakfast place a little ways out of town that I'm thinking of.  
  
“Maybe.” Robert rolls over, wrapping his arms around himself, almost shyly. Is it just me or... is he hiding his wrists?  
  
“Not feeling it?”  
  
I tilt my head curiously, hoping, praying, that he'll turn back to look at me. He side-eyes me, still hugging in on himself. His face betrays no expression, but his body language is undeniably timid.  
  
“Robert?”  
  
He looks away, making a soft huffing noise. He stays silent for a long moment.

Then he rolls back to face me, and extends his arms to me, I assume as an invitation to come cuddle. He pulls me into his chest again, and holds me tightly.  
  
“It's... what you think it is,” he says quietly. “But it's old, okay? Wipe that look off your face. I'm okay.”  
  
“I worry about you, Robert.”  
  
“I know.” I hear him swallow. “I'm sorry. I try not to make you worry so much.”  
  
“Rob, it's okay…”  
  
“No, I'm trying to be better.”  
  
I'm surprised at his firm words. They upset me a little. I don't want him to apologize when he hasn't done anything to me. “You are getting better,” I say. He has been doing a lot better lately, and I'm really proud of him, but ... It's hard to put it into words.

 

Robert squeezes me. “I love you.”

 

“I love you,” I say back, planting a few soft kisses on his exposed neck.

 

“Mmm,” he hums.

 

Ooooh, Robert likes being kissed on the neck. This'll cheer him right up. I give him a small, playful nibble.

 

“You're playin’ with fire, kid.”

 

“You don't scare me.”

 

“Cheeky,” he says, shoving me off of him effortlessly with a fiery smirk. “But, c’mon, take me out for breakfast first. I'm hungry.”

 

“Yay, me too. Get ready then.”

 

Robert sits up and pulls on his jeans. I'm used to sleeping in pajamas from having a daughter around the house, but Robert’s more used to the pant-free life. Before he puts his shirt on, though, he takes my hand in his. He traces my fingers across the visible scars on his wrist, and continues higher up his arm, drawing invisible straight lines across the skin. I can’t see anything there, but, I understand the message.

 

“It's been a while,” he says quietly. “I don't mean that to sound reminiscent. I don't miss hurting. I won't do it ever again. I was in a bad place. For a long time. But you’re helping. Little by little.”

 

I hold his hand, looking down at his arms. “That's ... good.” I don't know what else to say.

 

“I don't know if I'll ever be _better_ , but I know that I'll never do that again. I have enough self-destructive habits as it is, and I … I promised I’d be better.”

 

I squeeze his hand.

 

“I haven't thought about doing it in a while, anyway, but when you first told me that you loved me … the first thing I did was get rid of the knife I used to do it with. I tossed it into the lake. It was a nice knife, too. It had like, a cool purple and blue blade. But I didn't even want to have it any more if that's all it was for.”

 

“Don't you have lots of other knives?”

 

“Mhm. I like knives. They're cool. I used a specific one for that, though. It … sounds really silly now, since I obviously didn't care that I was purposefully hurting myself, it would seem like I wouldn’t care, but..." He laughs a little, rubbing his neck. "If I used the same knife I used on random pieces of wood, in my skin … I could get an infection in the cut.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah, I dunno. It was stupid. I know that now. I know you might not trust me, what with the ridiculous amount of knives I have, but I promise I'll talk to you if it ever gets bad enough for that to happen ever again.”

 

“I trust you.” I meet his gaze. “Thank you for telling me. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

 

“No, it's fine. I knew this'd happen sooner or later.”

 

“I love you, Robert…”

 

Robert pulls me in for a big hug, burying his face in my shoulder. “I love you, too. Thank you.”

 

“For what?”

 

“For making me feel like I’m worth something.”

 

Robert holds me tightly for a long time, unspeaking. When he finally allows me to pull away, he has a small blush on his face.

 

“You ... ready to go for breakfast?” I ask shyly, reaching for my glasses from the bedside table.

 

“Hell yeah,” Robert affirms, a smile on his lips. I kiss his smile. It grows, stretching across his face in a dopey, sideways grin.

 

I want to keep him this happy forever.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! xx kudos and comments are very appreciated!  
> i have more ddadds content in the works already, and maybe there'll be some with dadsona/someone else besides robert soon. maybe. i love the other dads too i swear. just... robert. he's so good.


End file.
